Angles and Perspective

Yucca plant

Children's Book
I've started the concept for a children's book about a young irresponsible prince. I may post a few snippets later once I start to flesh out the details. I've been struggling with finding the motivation to sit down and type up my ideas. I have no interest in publishing it, as of yet. However since I do have many ideas about themes and the narrative I might as well write it and save it for later.

Mental Rant
Currently, I'm having a difficult time keeping my attention focused on anything productive for more than mere seconds because of a conflict he and I had on Sunday. I feel very disrespected by a few things that he has done lately but it seems as if communicating with him is nearly impossible. So, after an infantile attempt at discussing it, we reverted right back to our passive-aggressive tendencies. Now, I'm annoyed because he knows exactly how to press my buttons. He doesn't call to cancel plans that we have together, instead he stands me up. Which, I believe is an immature attempt to intentionally piss me off under a false pretense with the excuse "you wouldn't want to have lunch with me anyways". After being in this relationship for over 3 years, we have our happy moments and then we step into an argument and it fosters so many doubts in my mind about whether we should go on like this. Our arguments are never productive, they're about as stable as nitro.  He's giving me the silent treatment and I just want to respond to it  by calling everything off. I guess we'll see how this turns out.

...In the end everything in life (including arguments) is about perspective and different angles isn't it?
To leave on a happier note, you may want to check out the Passive Aggressive Notes blog if you want to tickle your funny bone.

Update 7/1/2009
He and I finally talked. I swallowed my pride and called him 5 times while he was in the bathroom (I didn't know). We had a seemingly timid, but effective, conversation and then went to bed knowing that we need to work on our communication skills in the future.

Thorns

Arboretum at Regis University

These pictures were apart of a series for an art class that I took. These particular ones didn't make it to the final project but I still think that they should receive honorable mentions.

Speaking of thorns, I seem to have a perpetual one in my mood lately. I believe that it's due to the fact that I haven't been working at all for the past couple of months, all I've done with my time is clean and organize all while wasting away in the abyss of scholarship search engines. Currently, I'm looking for any freelance marketing projects to sink my teeth into. That way I could put aside some cash for grad school and get more valuable experience in the marketing field. I'm definitely not the type that likes to sit around doing nothing all day, although I know that I shouldn't take for granted my opportunity to use this time to relax. I know I should be grateful because I haven't had a "summer break" since I was 10 years old (I've worked every year since) yet, I still feel as if I'm mentally and physically fatigued because of a lack of stimulation and exercise. I guess that's why I've been so dedicated to my nightly interval training work-outs, it helps take away most of the guilt and pumps me full of endorphins.

A few ways I've been productively occupying my time:

• Cleaning the entire house until the dust bunnies are waving white flags and retreating
• Working out 3-4 times a week
• Spending more time with my family/friends
• Learning how to live on a very frugal budget
• Learning how to cook healthy meals (which if I do say so myself, I've been very successful)
• Reading more
• Started writing a little bit of prose again
• Searching for scholarships/grants

The reunion

Pt. 2

Her smile is taunting as she meets his gaze with guilty eyes and pouty lips. He dreads meeting those eyes, once he does he knows it's inevitable that he's going to sacrifice obtaining the truth in exchange for the taste of her peach stained lips one last time. As he starts to think about how this makes him feel that he still doesn't have the courage to deny his carnal temptations she interrupts with a question.

 "Where did you go?", she asked. He hesitated, slowly looking her in the eye before replying, "I needed to take a walk and find myself in silence". He knew he was a simply a pawn in her game of manipulation, and she knew many of her transgressions against him were unveiled but they both needed each other for one last task. "Do you want a beer? They're so cold you'll need gloves to hold it." she offered with a southern drawl. "Why do I need a beer when your frigid heart already gives me frostbite?", he said knowing that the future retaliation may be far worse than any sly comeback he could generate.

...In a moment of desolation without thought he asked, "let's save the petty insults for another play date. Where are you keeping my wife?"

Rocky Mt. Natl Park + Thoughts

I really wish I could remember which mountain trail I was on that led to this amazing placid lake surrounded by forest. Surprisingly, it was very calm except for the occasional fish that came to the surface of the water. After relaxing from the hour hike to this specific spot I saw this duck couple that swam from the other side of the lake right up to my feet. They were a very photogenic pair, unfortunately I couldn't reward them with any snacks.

On another note...

Mended

Just listen, do you hear the rain as it whispers your name. A thousand splendid patters on my rooftop, harmonizing to the beat of my heart. When did this start? Yester-year when I saw power and innocence in your eyes and to my surprise, you were seeking repentance for the errors and trials you put yourself through. You were hurt, lost, and couldn’t pay to bring back time. Time before the one that evilly caused you to doubt your true essence. In me, I wanted to give you deliverance. Yet how could I, a wounded soul mend another? Together, we found our true selves in each other and over time we have arrived at a sacred place, sanctified by our selflessness to love fully and intentionally. Conserving only one more “I love you” before we say goodbye each day.

Growth

Note: This isn't water on the tree stump, this is sap.

Pt. 1

In a moment of pulsing adrenaline, he quickened his pace. "If I only knew, if I only knew the damn truth I wouldn't be in this predicament!", He thought before leaving the curb onto the pavement. "If I knew, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be in this state tied down by obligation with a lost sense of aspirations". He asserts his dubious thoughts and how his good intentions led to a life of ambiguity. It was a mere utterance that brought him here, staring at the trees in the park as if they embodied a deeper wisdom that he could gather by simply concentrating.  Today he heard a few simple words that brought his world crashing to a sudden collision of chaos and bewilderment.

If he only knew now...

what these trees have always know; a hard exterior does not prevent invasion.

Feathers + Guardian Angel

I'm not going to lie, when I saw these feathers the first thought that crossed my mind was "those must have been from some diseased molting bird" ha!.  Later, after looking at these pictures again, I was reminded of a quick poem I wrote six years ago and it made me look at these feathers with a mystical perspective.





"Guardian Angel"

He stares deep within her soul. He is her security, protecting her from all the evil fiends of this world. He loves her more than she will ever know, tracing the tips of her lips to the curve of her hips enamored with her very being. Sent from heaven, God chosen, he's here for her night or day. He knows her sins, he knows her fears, her dreams, and all of her aspirations and yet, he loves her just the same. She will never know how much he cares for her because she's blind to his existence and his love, she will never know that her smile radiates though him every time she is happy... He's a victim of transparency.

The "Softer" side of rocks

These pictures were taken during my final undergrad year at Regis University-Denver. The campus is quite beautiful, especially during the Spring months when all of the flowers are coming to bloom (as seen in my first post). The first top picture includes a vigil for a young boy; what caused his death is still unknown to me, although student rumors suggest that there was a drunk student driver near the intersection of the University.

I enjoy these pictures of rocks simply because of how rigid and mundane they seem in every-day life. I tried to capture a "softer" side with the use of subtle color variations and shadows. I'm very happy with the way they came out. The background of the main image also looks as if it could have been painted (somewhat Van Gogh inspired, right?).